I call it the frog/prince effect which is a metaphor for the blind spots we have about ourselves and our businesses. When you look in the mirror, what you see looking back at you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. If the image you see is positive, such as a prince or princess, you will not feel the need to change anything. If the image you see is negative, such a frog, you will feel the need to change. In reality, neither of these images is entirely correct. Most of us have both frog and prince/princess characteristics. The problem is that we do not see ourselves or our companies as others do.
If we don’t see ourselves and our companies as others do, we won’t have a clue as to why they respond they way they do, which can hinder our success. Worse yet, we won’t know what changes we need to make to obtain better results. I used to tell my clients, if someone tells you that you have a tail, because you probably don’t believe them, you won’t turn around and look. But, if five people tell you that you have a tail, you might want to look and see if it’s true.
Here is a dramatic example. Many years ago, I worked with a brilliant female consultant. She was physicist who had been a colonel in the Navy with close to 50,000 people under her command. Her claim to fame was “war games”. Following her career in the Navy she went to work for a large corporation and became one of the first female executives in a male dominated organization within a male dominated industry.
The problem with this female executive had nothing to do with her abilities. She was eminently qualified. But, everyone she worked with was physically and emotionally exhausted after working with her for any length of time. She was fine at the beginning of an initiative. But, somewhere along the line, in the “heat of battle”, she lost all sense of balance or proportion, working herself and everyone else long past the point of exhaustion. I knew there was something amiss when she stopped eating, sleeping, and showering. In her mind, her career was progressing quite nicely. However, her CEO was so concerned about the damage she was causing in the organization with her aggressive behavior that he hired an $8,000 a day consultant to work with her.
In a more recent example, I was pleasantly surprised to find that a consultant I met turned out to be for more qualified than they appeared to be. The reason I was pleasantly surprised was there was a significant difference between this individual’s appearance and the image I had of other professionals of their caliber. If I had not had the opportunity to see just how competent this person was, I never would have hired them based on their appearance.
So, what can you do to make sure that you see yourself and your company as others do? The simple answer is to ask. For companies, this can be done formally or informally through focus groups, interviews, surveys, and social media. There are many marketing companies that provide “brand management” consulting services. These firms can help a company make sure that the way their brand is perceived is how they want it to be perceived and, if it isn’t, what they can do to change it.
For individuals, many large companies conduct 360 degree feedback appraisals or surveys where they ask others to evaluate employees on specific performance and behavioral dimensions. Then, the company can use these results to show employees how others perceive them and their performance. This can be very helpful in reducing “blind spots” or the frog/prince effect. If the employee is a senior executive, the company may decide to hire a consultant to work with individual.
Sometimes, the best decision a small business owner can make is to hire a professional coach. Even if everyone in a small company sees that the business owner or a key employee needs to make changes, it is often difficult, if not impossible, to get them to change. This is when a coach can really have an impact.
One of the companies that has been providing this kind of coaching for over twenty years is Change Masters, owned by Tom Mungavan and Carol Keers. Prior to joining Change Masters, Carol and I worked as Outplacement Consultants in a firm that provided career transition services to executives and line managers who had been terminated. We saw firsthand how easily careers can be derailed even if an individual is highly competent. When Carol and I had lunch together a few weeks ago, she gave me a copy of their book, “Seeing Yourself As Others Do, Authentic Executive Presence At Any Stage of Your Career”. The book inspired me to write this article.
The book reveals that 55% of our communication is non-verbal or visual attributes such as facial expression, dress, posture, handshake, etc. Vocal quality is 38%, or how we say what we say and only 7% is content or words. What this means is that communication is a lot more than just words. This is the reason why people can be misunderstood even when they use the right words.
According to Change Masters, a key to managing perceptions is to align one’s internal and external authenticity. Internal authenticity is meaning what you say and external authenticity is saying what you mean.
I would encourage you to consider buying and reading the book if you want to know how to manage other’s perceptions of you. For individuals in leadership roles, executive presence is critical. The book describes several areas that contribute to executive presence including charisma, leverage (political), communicating expectations, presentation skills, building relationships, listening and an ability to inspire.
Here’s a question. The next time you look in the mirror, do you think others see what you see? Do you think your prospects, customers, competitors or employees see you and your company as you do? If not, they may be seeing something you don’t, like a frog!
If you would like to contact me, you can do so by visiting my LinkedIn page or emailing me at susan.fronk@bestbizpractices.org.
Posted by: Susan Fronk
